Person 1: Knock-knock. Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: Noah. Person 2: Noah who?
Person 1: Noah good place to get something to eat?
Q: What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?
A: A spelling bee.
Person 1: Knock-knock. Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: Luke. Person 2: Luke who?
Person 1: Luke through the peep hole and you’ll see.
Q: Where do cows go for entertainment?
A: The mooooo-vies!
Person 1: Knock-knock. Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: Sadie. Person 2: Sadie who?
Person 1: Sadie magic word and I’ll disappear.
Q: What kind of dinosaur loves to sleep?
A: A stega-snore-us.
Person 1: Knock-knock. Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: Justin. Person 2: Justin who?
Person 1: Justin time for dinner!
Q: Why couldn't the pony sing?
A: Because she was a little hoarse.
Person 1: Knock-knock. Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: Claire. Person 2: Claire who?
Person 1: Claire the way — I’m coming through!
Q: Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
A: The baa-baa shop.
Person 1: Knock-knock. Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: Mikey. Person 2: Mikey who?
Person 1: Mikey doesn’t fit in the keyhole. Let me in!
Q: What do you get when you cross a snake with a pie?
A: A pie-thon!
Person 1: Knock-knock. Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: Little old lady. Person 2: Little old lady who?
Person 1: Wow, I didn’t know you could yodell!
Q: What's the most musical part of the chicken?
A: The drumstick.
Q: What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?
A: A tube-a toothpaste.
Q: What kind of lion never roars?
A: A dande-lion!
Q: What runs around a yard without actually moving?
A: A fence.
Q: What gets wetter the more it dries?
A: A towel.
Q: What is the longest word in the dictionary?
A: “Smiles,” because there’s a “mile” between each “s.”
Q: What has a bed that you can't sleep in?
A: A river.
Q: What has four wheels and flies?
A: A garbage truck.
Q: When is a door not a door?
A: When it’s a-jar.
Q: When does Friday come before Thursday?
A: In the dictionary.
Q: What comes down, but never comes up?
A: Rain.
Q: What starts with the letter "t," is filled with "t," and ends in "t"?
A: A teapot.
Q: What can be broken, but can't be held?
A: A promise.
Q: What has a face and two hands, but no arms or legs?
A: A clock.
Q: A cowboy rides into town on Friday, stays for three days, then leaves on Friday. How did he do it?
A: His horse’s name was Friday.
Q: What never asks questions, but is often answered?
A: A doorbell.
Q: What kind of button doesn't unbutton?
A: A belly button.
Q: Everyone has it, and no one can lose it. What is it?
A: A shadow.
Q: Why was the student's report card wet?
A: It was below C level!
Q: What three candies can you find in every school?
A: Nerds, DumDums, and Smarties.
Q: What did the buffalo say to his kid when he dropped him off at school?
A: Bison!
Q: What's a snake's favorite subject?
A: Hisstory.
Q: Why did the teacher wear sunglasses inside?
A: Her students were so bright!
Q: Where do pencils go on vacation?
A: Pencil-vania.
Q: Why couldn't the bike stand up?
A: It was too tired.
Q: Why did the drum take a nap?
A: It was beat.
Q: What did one penny say to another penny?
A: We make cents.
Q: Why are teddy bears never hungry?
A: Because they’re always stuffed!
Q: What did the digital clock say to the grandfather clock?
A: Look, grandpa! No hands!
Q: What did one eye say to the other eye?
A: Don’t look now, but something between us smells.
Q: What did the blanket say to the child?
A: Don’t worry: I’ve got you covered!
Q: Why did the computer go to the doctor?
A: It had a virus.
Q: Why did the policeman go to the baseball game?
A: He’d heard that someone had stolen a base!
Q: When do doctors get mad?
A: When they run out of patients.
Q: What did the judge say to the dentist?
A: Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth?
Q: Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
A: In case he got a hole in one.
Q: Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?
A: He wanted to win the no-bell prize.
Q: What did the fisherman say to the magician?
A: Pick a cod, any cod!
Q: What do prisoners use to call each other?
A: Cell phones.
Q: What kind of shoes do all spies wear?
A: Sneak-ers.
Q: What is a cheerleader's favorite drink?
A: Root beer.
Q: What do elves learn at school?
A: The elf-abet.
Q: Why was the math book sad?
A: Because it had so many problems.
Q: What did the calculator say to the math student?
A: You can count on me.
Q: Why did the boy bring the ladder to school?
A: He was going to high school.
Q: Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?
A: She couldn’t control her pupils.
Person 1: Knock-knock. Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: Imma. Person 2: Imma who?
Person 1: Imma gettin’ tired of waiting — let me in!
Q: What's the worst thing about throwing a party in space?
A: You have to planet.
Person 1: Knock-knock. Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: Roach. Person 2: Roach who?
Person 1: Roach you a letter. Didn’t you get it?
Q: Why did the tree go to the dentist?
A: It needed a root canal.
Person 1: Knock-knock. Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: Dishes. Person 2: Dishes who?
Person 1: Dishes a nice place you’ve got here!
Q: Why can't you trust atoms?
A: They make up everything!
Person 1: Will you remember me in one minute? Person 2: Yes. Person 1: Knock-knock. Person 2: Who's there?
Person 1: Hey! You didn’t remember me!
Q: Why do moon rocks taste better than earth rocks?
A: Because they’re meteor.
Q: How do you know when the moon has had enough to eat?
A: When it’s full.
Q: What washes up on very small beaches?
A: Micro-waves.
Q: What did the tree say to the wind?
A: Leaf me alone!
Q: What kind of music do planets listen to?
A: Nep-tunes.
Q: What do you call a funny mountain?
A: Hill-arious!
Q: Why did the opera singer go sailing?
A: She wanted to hit the high Cs.
Person 1: Knock-knock. Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: Interrupting pirate. Person 2: Interrup...
Person 1: ARRRRRRR!
Q: What do you call cheese that's not yours?
A: Nach-o cheese.
Person 1: Knock-knock. Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: Boo. Person 2: Boo who?
Person 1: Don’t cry, it’s just me!
Q: What do call it when you help a lemon that's in trouble?
A: Lemon-aid.
Person 1: Knock-knock. Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: Cow says. Person 2: Cow says who?
Person 1: No, silly! A cow says “Mooooo!”
Q: Why did the banana go to the hospital?
A: He was peeling really bad.
Person 1: Knock-knock. Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: Ketchup. Person 2: Ketchup who?
Person 1: Ketchup with me and I’ll tell you.
Q: Why did the tomato turn red?
A: It saw the salad dressing.
Person 1: Knock-knock. Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: Dozen. Person 2: Dozen who?
Person 1: Dozen anyone want to let me in?
Q: Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks?
A: Minnesota.
Person 1: Knock-knock. Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: Iowa. Person 2: Iowa who?
Person 1: Iowa friend a couple dollars.
Q: Where do hamburgers go to dance?
A: They go to the meat-ball.
Person 1: Knock-knock. Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: Olive. Person 2: Olive who?
Person 1: Olive you!
Q: How does the ocean say hello?
A: It waves.
Person 1: Knock-knock. Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: Canoe. Person 2: Canoe who?
Person 1: Canoe help me with my homework?
Q: What do you call a group of disorganized cats?
A: A cat-tastrophe.
Person 1: Knock-knock. Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: Lettuce. Person 2: Lettuce who?
Person 1: Lettuce in, it’s cold out here!
Q: How many tickles does it take to get an octopus to laugh?
A: Ten-tickles.
Person 1: Knock-knock. Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: Figs. Person 2: Figs who?
Person 1: Figs the doorbell — it’s broken!
Q: Why did the chicken get a penalty?
A: For fowl play.
Person 1: Knock-knock. Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: Leaf. Person 2: Leaf who?
Person 1: Leaf me alone!
Q: Where do you learn to make banana splits?
A: At sundae school.
Person 1: Knock-knock. Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: Wooden shoe. Person 2: Wooden shoe who?
Person 1: Wooden shoe like to hear another joke?
Q: Why did the melon jump into the lake?
A: It wanted to be a water-melon.
Person 1: Knock-knock. Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: Alpaca.<br /> Person 2: Alpaca who?
Person 1: Alpaca the suitcase; you pack the trunk!
Q: What's an astronaut's favorite candy?
A: A Mars bar.
Person 1: Knock-knock. Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: Atch. Person 2: Atch who?
Person 1: Bless you!
Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
A: It was feeling crumb-y.